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Kid Cudi attends Netflix’s ‘Happy Gilmore 2’ New York Premiere
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Key Takeaways:
- Kid Cudi’s forthcoming memoir reveals a near-fatal cocaine overdose that occurred after his debut album’s release.
- In the book, he describes his suicidal thoughts during the creation of Speedin’ Bullet 2 Heaven.
- It will also explore how Kid Cudi’s personal battles reflect broader mental health issues in Hip Hop.
Kid Cudi has always been transparent about his struggles with addiction and depression via his music. In the Cleveland rapper’s new autobiography, “Cudi: The Memoir,” the rapper, singer and actor is just as vulnerable in print as he’s been in song — even grimly detailing a nearly fatal overdose.
On Tuesday (Aug. 5), GQ published an excerpt from the forthcoming 320-page memoir that recounted one of his darkest moments: overdosing on cocaine and his subsequent suicide ideation.
“I was at peace with dying,” Kid Cudi wrote. “After doing more coke than I ever had in my life, I was losing all sense of what was real. I’d been alone in my New York apartment, crying for hours, listening to the Lykke Li song ‘Time Flies’ on repeat. It was a love song, but the melodies and her voice filled me with despair.”

Fortunately, Kid Cudi survived the overdose, which occurred about a year after the release of his 2009 debut album, Man On The Moon: The End Of Day, and before its follow up, Man On The Moon II: The Legend Of Mr. Rager in November 2010. However, the cocaine abuse continued, and it wouldn’t be the last time he’d pondered what he called his “death wish.”
He wrote, “By the time I was writing Speedin’ Bullet 2 Heaven in 2015, I’d come back to that moment, but in a much more real way. We had rented a house in Big Sur to get the album done. After we’d finished a session, I’d be alone Googling exit bags. I was thinking about a way I could actually do it. I was plotting it. There’s a song at the end of Speedin’ Bullet where I say goodbye, and that was meant to be my final album. I was going to kill myself at the end of that album, or before it came out, or during that cycle. I was not planning to live that year. Not many people around me expected me to either.”
A decade later, it seems like Kid Cudi has been working through his demons and has plenty more life to live. Mr. Rager’s new album, Free, is out on Aug. 22. Before then, however, his debut memoir will hit shelves on Aug. 12 via Simon & Schuster.
If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide, help is available 24/7. The 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is a hotline for individuals in crisis or for those looking to help someone else. To speak with a trained listener, call 988. Visit 988lifeline.org for crisis chat services or for more information.
